A few weeks ago the boy turned 6 and in what has become my norm anymore I am just now getting around to blogging about it. So please forgive my tardiness.
To my most amazing Wollibur,
I’m a bit late in composing this letter to you, partly because life is at best, chaotic right now, but mostly because I’m not sure what to say. I am in a bit of denial.
More than one hand.
It’s a pretty monumental thing.
The last twelve months have been equal parts amazing and exhausting. You were pushed beyond the confines of your comfort zone and we asked more of you than I was sure you could handle. At times I wasn’t sure we were going to survive it and we have both shed more than our fair share of tears, yet, here we are…you are six.
I try not to take for granted the fact that you are another year older because I realize it is a gift not afforded to all, yet I can’t help but want to freeze time. I want to remember the way you waddle into my room every morning sleepy eyed, a little taller than the night before and without saying a word climb into what has become your ‘spot’ in our bed. The way you frantically run out of the house half dressed to give me a second hug before I leave for the day. I want to bottle the smell of your freshly washed hair and the sound of your laugh and keep it locked away for a rainy day. Yet, as much as I want to hold on to exactly what you are right now, I am so excited for the road in front of us.
You are staring down the barrel of first grade, anxiously awaiting for your first tooth to fall out and threatening to give up the use of training wheels any day now. Your shoes are all a little snug, your pants a bit too high and you are more concerned with how we ‘style’ your hair than I ever thought possible. You have grown into boy. I know that you are as reluctant to accept some of the coming changes as I have been to accept that you are no longer a baby, but I promise it will be okay. I want you to try to live your life with the following words in mind.
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Whatever the next 365 brings I am confident you will face it with the grace and bravery you have the last. Please know that I will always be just an arms length behind you cheering you on and that above all else my sweet boy, your father and I are so very proud of you.
To the moon and back,
P.S. I apologize that for your 6th birthday you got a therapist. You should know that it’s not you, it’s me. You are my first born, my trial-and-error baby and you will likely be bearing the scars of my less than stellar parental abilities for the remainder of your days. I take full responsibility for this and only ask that when you are judging my short comings please keep in mind that I always had the very best of intentions.